Equal Treatment of Wives

Equal Treatment of Wives

By Saad Hussain

(5th Year Alim Student, DarusSalam Seminary)

In Sūrat al-Nisāʾ, Allāh says: “…Marry the women who please you, two, three, or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then marry only one….” In the verse, Allāh permits a Muslim man to marry more than one woman, but also adds the condition that the husband must be just and treat all his wives fairly. The statement, “but if you fear that you will not be just,” indicates that upholding justice between them is indeed possible.

Then later, in the same sūrah, Allāh says: “And you will never be able to be just between wives, even if you should strive to do so. Do not incline to one while leaving another hanging. And if you amend your affairs and fear Allāh, then indeed Allāh is Forgiving and Merciful.” In this verse, Allāh informs the listener that he will never be able to treat his wives fairly. These two verses seem to contradict one another; one verse states that treating one’s wives equally is possible while the other seems to declare that it is not.

Almost all the scholars of tafsīr agree that the verse, “you will never be able to be just between wives,” means that the husband will never be able to love them all equally. Abū Ḥātim al-Rāzī narrated a statement from Ibn ʿAbbās regarding this verse. He said the verse, “you will never be able to be just between wives,” means one cannot love them equally and one will not be attracted to them the same.^[1]

Even if the husband spends on his wives equally and gives the same amount of his time to each, he may love one more than the others. When explaining this verse, many scholars cited that ʿĀʾishah said: “The Prophet used to divide his time between his wives; and he was just in that. Then, he would say: ‘O Allāh! This is what I have control over; do not blame me for that over which You have control and I do not.’” ^[2] Ibn Kathīr stated that this chain of this narration is ṣaḥīḥ.^[3] Tirmidhī explained this narration and said that the Prophet’s words, “that over which You have control and I do not,” means his heart.

This shows that even the Prophet did not have control over his heart and feelings. Perhaps he was not able to love each one of his wives the same. Once the Prophet was asked whom he loved the most and replied that he loved ʿĀʾishah the most.^[4] If the Prophet could not control whom he loved, how is it expected for a normal man to do so? If Allāh was to demand this from husbands, He would be commanding them to do the impossible. However, He stated in Sūrat al-Muʾminūn: “We do not burden a soul beyond capacity…”

The meaning of this verse has now been explained; but, what about the first verse? Why is being fair and just necessary in that scenario? According to the first narration, the Prophet used to divide his time amongst his wives equally because this is one of their rights.

The jurists have mentioned other rights as well, such as providing financial support, clothing, and living accommodations.^[5] So the first verse explains that if one cannot provide for multiple wives, it is better for him to only have one. The Prophet warned against this and said: “When a man has two wives and he is not just between them, he will come on the Day of Judgment with one side [of his body] drooping.”^[6]

In conclusion, the first verse, “But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one…” refers to the legal rights that wives are entitled to. And the second verse, “And you will never be able to be just between wives, even if you should strive [to do so]…” refers to the love and attraction the husband has for his wives, which is something a man cannot control.

^[1] Tafsīr Ibn Abī Ḥātim, 4:1083

^[2] Sunan al-Tirmidhī, #1140; Sunan Abī Dāwūd, #2134; Sunan al-Nasāʾī, #3943; Sunan Ibn Mājah, #1971.

^[3] Tafsīr Ibn Kathīr, 2:430.

^[4] Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, #3662; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, #2384.

^[5] al-Mawsūʿat al-Fiqhiyyah, 33:183-85.

^[6] Sunan al-Tirmidhī, #1141.